A changing mind

Time is strange, the changes it incites in the world happens at such a scale and is so ingrained in how we function that we can’t escape the limitations it imposes. As we travel forward with time its effects change both us and our environment. Moments pass and leave nothing unadjusted, everything altered by its incessant march. Growth and rot share this friend in common. Change over time a helping hand to all, both willing and mindless.

Time and it’s forceful motion is the only thing that allows for any sort of, well, anything. Time itself runs our universe and mandates the order in which processes happen. From the order and direction time provides, we step forward, beings that poses the ability to measure and notice its passing. Complex objects that do more than react to the shifting world but define the changes that take place with our own hands. Humans who take their will and make the world react to us.

With time we are able to make our own world, the first steps taken in any journey will always require some amount of time. On grander scales time is your worst enemy, changing the game field and destroying your stockpiles. But if the game were to stop, then no one would be any better for it. No progress could be made, no changes, nothing accomplished or derived from all of the work put in over time.

Is it so strange to think that time, which gives us the very ability to measure it, also changes us as we pass through it? So often I see people counting on the future like its just as set as the past. Acting as though everything is and will be just as it was before, with only the changes they can predict. So many times I see people ignore the warnings of those who have been battered by time, who have seen their beauty fade. I’ve seen them warn those in their glory days that time will see them fade as well.

We often compare ourselves to who we were years ago, to a person that existed before X amount of time. But what if you looked at the small scale. How long ago did you decide to do what your doing now? What length of time was required to set you in your current position, where you stand right this instant? What information do you have that may change your path in the future? At the end of the day, its unquantifiable. There is no way to trace things to that degree, but the loop it puts you through brings up an interesting question that has trapped me since I was very young. Are you really the same person you were just moments ago?

To me, the mind changes every time you get new information. So from my perspective, no, you aren’t. While you may set yourself on an unchanging path that isn’t affected by new information. Every time you look at something, or hear a sound, or even think about a past event you could change your whole path from there on. There is no defined pivot point for changing your life, your mindset, or your sanity, each step on the way alters the course. So stay aware of what your doing and the course it sets you on, it may change you.

The metal daisy

Sunshine on a metal daisy
A pure form of life gone crazy
Metallic crystals of insanity
Structure built and straining
A shape captured vaguely
A world its bent on fixing
Swirl to the light forever swinging
A dancer to the suns daytime singing
Twisting its stem nearly always dizzy
Sunshine blasting a metal daisy
Heating the air with fury
Silky hairs angrily burning

Petals of shiny metal reaching near
A fearsome thought held in fear
The darkness of night a force of willful sheer
A terror so overwhelming the world steers clear
The light of day a thought held dear
Dooming to light all cowards born of fear
Those who from the sidelines and cheer
Afternoon light ends right here
Glinting on a puddle of the man’s shodden tear

This flower a beauty by which to define pure
A world in which life needs no cure
This metal daisy shines as a glistening mirror
The daisy a monument left to reassure
The light blinding those without will to endure
Sunshine glinting from a light bourn of vapor
The metal daisy a beacon of hope and allure

In different tones

The world screams in different tones. From the thoughts of fleshed minds comes the multi toned cacophony of need that permeates our world. We all desire something, those desires changing in intensity and focus every moment of every day throughout our lives. Desire fuels our actions and by those actions our next desire is defined, our thoughts formed by our surroundings.

An individual voice may be drowned out amongst the whole of a crowd, but they have a plethora of actions by which they can take hold of the scene. While those actions are generally extreme, the impact they have on the world can be felt through time and across spheres of influence. Each voice has a mind behind it, a sentience that can change the outcome and desire of the hoard. Each voice a wavering solid glow that fuels the direction and intensity of those around it. We are sparks amidst an inferno, able to start our own fire by our choices, born of other fires, and kept alive by the heat that surrounds us.

I can never ignore the individual, the idea of that each of us can se`t the world ablaze is inspiring to me. Yet the scope of the idea overwhelms me all the time. Everyone has reasons for what they do, everyone has a story, a meaning to their actions. It’s the most complicated and thought out story to ever not be told. 7.7 billion threads each in their own sphere of influence and scope, each defining their own multidimensional sound while influencing those around them. A feedback loop that permeates societies of all species.

As a long standing worker in customer service, my everyday job is to make sure people get what they need, to ensure that their interactions in my store meets their desires. As anyone from the industry knows, some people come in with a very, very bad mindset. With this philosophy in mind, I still do my absolute best to get them what I can and set the situation right. Granted, this is very hard with some people, and it has been hard to do with me at times. I’ve stressed the complexity of a persons reasoning here, and this is why. Those people you can’t stand, the ones that have no idea what they are doing to your side of the line or have no shame when it comes to their expression of distaste, have their reasons for doing so. They may have come to that reason by a flawed system, but at its base, it’s the same system we all use. We rely on our past experiences for every descion we make, and it’s never easy to override those.

I can try all I want to consider the viewpoint and desires of every person I meet, to calculate what experiences could be driving their actions. But at the end of the day, there is just too much. There is way more than I can even hope to keep track of, so many steps and hitches that may shatter someone’s entire day. The best I, and anyone willing to, can ever do, is to do their best to think about their influence and what affects them. Take each interaction as it is, a meeting of two incredible beings with influence and goals. Two entities tied together in that moment with the power to change each others fate.

Burning man

A burning man feels no pain, only fire
Pain has no meaning to those consumed
Fated to burn by the shadow lights desire
A torture of mind with body all but doomed

A burning man fears no land
His pain is the worst that nears
Wandering worlds for a helping hand
Not a thought spared for his mortal fears

The burning man finds a land of water
A pit of ice welcomes him home
The cooling touch beckons him further
Putrid water boils revealing acidic foam

The burning man fears his death
His helping hand inverted
Reminding him he had yet to lose his breath
Acid filled his lungs and body contorted

Our burning man has lost his fire
The plague of realms a wives tale
A man lost to senseless desire
Leaving behind a smoking trail

Learning a new skill

I’m constantly learning, taking on projects that need a whole new approach and expand my ability to express myself. Most of them I’ve been trying to do for years, and there is generally one reason for why I continually fail at them. I don’t know if I go in with my expectations too high or if I start digging to deep too early on, but I get overwhelmed by the limitations and constraints of the medium. I wish that I could just think the thing into existence. I see it, why can’t it just be that easy? Whether its a new coding language, art style, program, or type of digital media I get lost in all of the options and what I want out of them. It always leads to me picking up small parts each time I try it while getting slowly better and more comfortable with it. It’s a frustrating loop that degrades motivation and progress.

As you can imagine, this is a horrible and broken way to learn anything. Every lesson split by months and massive amounts of anger. I end up with a mountain of half finished projects that I’m either unhappy with or just flat out don’t function. Resulting in a long turnaround from when I get inspired to do something and when I can actually get it done. Essentially, when it comes down to it, I’m a horrible learner of new things. There is so much that I’m wanting to learn. So many mediums and skills that inspire me from the world everyday. There is not enough time to muddle through it as I have been, I need to make a change in my flow, take charge in how my mind works and define what it is for me to learn.

I am working on it, but its awkward because of the nature of the issue. I can’t just force myself through the frustration while still getting what I want out of it. I still need to stay inspired about the project while learning. Easy enough when you have a goal in mind, but harder when you see how far you might have to go to get there. Whats really at stake is my standards of early content in new mediums. Those early days when the result is no more than a guess at how it should be done. I need to be able to get proper feedback on new things while also being able to work all the way through a project. That way I know the whole processes, what I can change along the way, and how it fits with my vision of what I want.

While this is all great in theory, there is one glaring flaw, my biggest human fear. I have always held the viewpoint of the individual in high regard, to me each persons vision and perspective of the world is of upmost importance to the whole of society. It’s why I rarely loose my patience with people and dedicate my time to enabling people to accomplish their goals. In the same way my viewpoint carries a value to me, and my fear is to share it and be misunderstood. To have the ideas and dreams I have marred by my inadequate skill. Leading back to the point, this is where my high expectations of myself come from. In order to get to the point that I can express my ideas on form, I first need to sacrifice the vision I dream of and make something simple. Say, a donut, one that looks suspiciously like plastic.

Warped time

Warping moments surround my days
an hour lost to seconds in haze
forever lost amidst years of maze
seconds shatter frame by frame

A mind frame set against my way
Moments blistered and burned away
Hours lost against the backdrop of day
The second that is now a good midway

Warping moments all I know
A time without count to show
A grid without edges to call home
A day lost in breaths counted by some

Worth counted by actions
Time fights distractions
Hours uncountable by other matches
Days defined by steps equated countless

Travel dearly

Worry not dear traveler, your path is mutable. But your mind must be clear to find your way.
While time is short, your anxiety serves only to lengthen the the trail. Wait, breath, and decide on the steps you need. To fret over the distance in between is the opposite of required.

While you may not get everything done this time around, and some things may not work out the way you wanted, travel dearly, and learn from your mistakes. Change them next time. Take that breath, take that moment. Remember your reasons, remember your why.

Every step you take, every tumble and fall is a story with the ability to change your course. Every mistake a chance to change, each thought a chance to scream out.

Worry not dear traveler, your path is mutable, and you are the captain of it all.

A taste of heat

Taste the swirling air travel over your tongue, every angle of the invisible blades leaving their own distinct mark. Indescribable differences outlined in memory and yearned for with every breath. Every moment , every rush of new air opens a vision to a new world unseen by the eyes of man, and yet tainted by its tongue. A vision of the future, of what can be, of what to do!

Stretch against the air as it cools your fevered skin, pulsing blood warming with every heartbeat. Feel how the air cascades across your skin. A whispering of the power behind it, a minuscule amount of all the intent and malice it contains. The tiniest portion of the whole able to be sensed by your slowly sharpening perception, to be defined by your skill at the task at hand.

Consume everything, learn it all! Take in every bit of that information the air unveils, take it in and know its secrets. Know what it means to see the world through your body rather than your eyes. React to the unseen, transcribe the unheard, and hide secrets where only those like you will kow to look. Take the world as it is and change it!

Fear the world rushing by, the noise drowning out your beloved information, the scenery of sound. Watch your mind and keep it in check, keep pace with your surroundings. The world will fall, but if you stand still, you’ll miss the best parts.

Enjoy the taste of hot water while it lasts, fear the day when it’s replaced with the taste of dry metal. It may be your curse for now, but the day will come where it will be your favorite memory. Commit to memory your boiling skin, for if there is something to boil, you have yet to truly burn. Ashes hold no heat.

To dust
We are dust. Yearning for a drink, the thirst that no amount of liquid satiates. A yearning to do more, not enough was done. A powder in the wind, a charred brick amongst stone, cursed to be food for the world. The task was done, our purpose served. May the world be all the better for it.

My minecraft adiction

What is it

Minecraft, at the surface, is a simple game. You are given simple items and objects with easy to understand mechanics that, at face value, don’t do much. Much of the game play and story is left up to the player, there is no set meta or overarching style to the game that can be defined by any one person. It really is a game where every person is left to do what they want.
It’s a gameplay style that has flaws, sure. But at its core it’s designed to be open and welcoming to as many people as possible. A place for anyone to find a friend, where anyone can find meaning in the digital age.


The allure of Minecraft combined with Mojangs openness to modding allows for an even larger community with completely different styles of play than if it were just vanilla, even just on the semi-vanilla landscape. Anyone, with any mind set can find a place when it changes so drastically.
The modding community that has been enabled by Mojang has found amazing ways to push people to be creative and express themselves in the game. From simply enabling vanilla servers to hold more people with moderation tools and performance optimization (no small feat mind you) to creating whole new stories and sub games in minecraft with tools Mojang doesn’t even have. Every day its inspiring people to take on jobs in game development and design as well as giving them a taste of what they can do with it.

The community

You hear a lot about this or that games community, and it’s similar for minecraft. People will point to the community for why they enjoy the game, well, any game. But the big thing I want to point out here is how varied the communities here are. We’ve touched on how different play styles can be, so far apart that players of one style may not even know the other exists. Because of the massive number of ways you can play Minecraft and the variety of players that play, there are communities for literally everything in minecraft. All of the different styles, lifestyles, and real life niches come together to enjoy what can just be a simple game.


Even in vanilla, just the game as Mojang releases it, shows how open ended things can be when you want it to be. This is my favorite part, and if you’ve watched my streams you have definitely heard me mention it. Emergence. The idea that an object is greater than the sum of its parts. If you look anywhere in minecraft, whether it be co-op survival, anarchy, plots, grand scale creative, or modding, this holds true for me. I see players all over the place taking the simple pieces minecraft provides and using them to make massively complex things. Farms, machines, mobility devices, traps, doors, terrain, songs, buildings all the way to entire worlds! It goes on and on. Each of these things made up of single meter by meter cubes with simple, easy to understand rules.

From my perspective, most of the minecraft world interacts via some intermediary. Something that tells it what to do or how to react. There are 4 that I can think of, inventories, redstone power, mob location, and block location/state. This generally relates to redstone mechanics, but is also true when it comes to interacting with the world by most other means such as shearing sheep or trading with villagers. There is some step in between that causes the interaction.

To simplify a bit, when every a player has to control or change the world, they to use at least one intermediary. They coexist in such a way that you can use them together to create machines that control or use all 4 to accomplish a task. Using a workstation to interact with a villager, updating a comparator with a chest inventory, locking a hopper with a redstone torch, and shearing a sheep with a dispenser, and updating an observer with a block state are examples of the 4 I listed.
Each intermediary have an effect on the world that is defined, but the block itself does not generally cause it. There are exceptions of course, and there are technically more intermediaries. I don’t have this down to an exact science, but the general idea that there exists an entire world based on such simple rules that we know inspires me every time.

But why tho

This has been rather lengthy, so lets get down to it. why do I enjoy Minecraft so much? Well, its a culmination of everything here of course. I wouldn’t write about it if it didn’t inspire me. The fact that Mojang has worked with their community from day one to build a game that fits everyone’s needs and and allows the community to help is mind boggling to me. The amount of dedication and thought that they have put into every step inspires me to do that in my own projects. To take feedback and adjust my ideals to be more open to those who support me.
This game has given me so much, inspired me, and taken me out of my darkest times. It gives me the connections and testing grounds for my career and hobbies of the future. Minecraft, for me and thousands of other players, is more than a game. It’s what we have built ourselves around as a community, as an art style, and an outlet for our whole self.

The morning of fall

The very air reeks of rotting stone
in between tar and decrepit home
The heat but a memory lost and thrown
Every breath of wind a has a mind of its own

Watching the sun break the clouds
Every step pushed back by the slick ground
Fleeing the world as pinkish light surrounds
Feeling the sun warm the air and open new sounds

Swirling wind pushes every sense of mine
A war between body and frame of mind
The cold defined with the freedom on the line
Lift me up, cary me worries through time

Shattered leaves and broken branches
Coated in water all hopeless and senseless
Their beauty on the ground amongst the fences
Weighed down by rain awaiting the first fungus

Every breath tastes of the coming ice
A reminder the world hides its face
A season apart but still showing grace
Winters coming, a fearsome race